23 Aug 2014

22nd August 2014

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Friday 22nd 54F, 22C, windy and overcast with rain. Thundery showers or rain continue to feature in the forecast. It started spitting and blowing a quarter of a mile from home. Then rained steadily until I returned 50 minutes and 2 ½ miles later. By the time I reached the door it had stopped again. The countryside is looking very drab and untidy after the stubble has been raked. It has hardly paused from raining all morning. I am pinning my hopes on a drier afternoon. Though the tailwind will have risen to 30mph. Allowing a ten minute ride to get there and only an hour (or two) to fight my way back again.

The rain went off after lunch to lull me into a false sense of invincibility against the elements. I wisely chose a shorter route not involving a battle of wills with the wind.. Almost as soon as I left it started tipping down and there was half an inch of standing water on the roads. Despite the overshoes and front mudguard my feet were soon very wet.  As were my shorts from the jacket run-off. Now I am home again the rain has stopped and the sun has come out! It seems any sympathy I might have been enjoying from the rain gods has been cancelled. Only 7 soggy miles. I was stung by a hornet! So I put an ice pack on it first and then ran cold water for as long as I had the patience. It hurt's like hell!

Saturday 23rd 53-60F, 12-16C, breezy, dry and sunny. Showers forecast again. Denmark seems to be suffering from Monsoon Lite. We get the same quantity but it comes in short bursts.  It stayed dry for my walk. With large plates of cloud going over. My hand is swollen up like an inflated, red, rubber, surgeon's glove from the hornet sting. It is itching like mad so I may never walk the same again!

By the time I left for my ride the sky was inky black to the south. Except that the weather was coming from the west. A false promise that it would miss me completely. Four miles later I was being beaten all over by wet stair rods!

I dived under a big beech tree as the rain doubled and redoubled its deluge. The roads were literally flooded from side to side but still the retards were passing me at 50-60 mph in a 30 mph zone. How did I know? Because there was a speed indicator board just down the road flashing continuously as it showed their illegal speeds! Eventually the rain ran out of steam for just long enough for me to decide to push on. Only for it to rain in truly epic proportions all over again. With a lack of sheltering trees I just kept going and soon hit dry roads, clear blue skies and sunshine. Grrr?

I did my shopping and headed home. Halfway there the sky ahead turned to blue-black ink again. I could only pedal optimistically but pointlessly on towards the next torrential cloudburst. Another five minutes passed very slowly as I huddled in deep gloom under an increasingly leaky tree. While being repeatedly sprayed by passing cars with no functional driver at the controls.

Do Google's driver-less cars recognise the problem of spray and cyclists? Or are they designed by non-cyclists without the faintest idea of the problems faced every single day by those pedaling to save the planet. I hear some drooling, moronic politic-ooze with far too much time [and power] on his hands has insisted on normal car controls for driver-less cars in California. What a brilliant idea!! I know, let's put a tragically failed and long proven inadequate driver back in driver-less cars. Then they can claim that when they ran over the cyclist that Google's computer was at fault! No doubt they will soon need a black box system. Just to protect Google from false accident claims by drunks, drug-heads, general fuck-wits, the registered blind, the truly demented and the politic-ooze while hiding behind their [supposedly] pretend [steering] wheels.

An older chap on a mountain bike went past as I waited for a lull. He shouted something above the roar of the rain about it being the wrong weather for cycling. A bit of an understatement if ever there was one! I laughed and watched him ride on while trailing a huge spray from his back tyre. His jacket was day-glo, fluorescent yellow-green just like mine. Except that his seemed to be waterproof instead of secondhand, Aldi, blotting paper bought from a charity shop. I really must start reading user reviews of breathable, waterproof jackets. 16, even more soggy miles than yesterday's.

PS. The local pharmacist sold me a cheap pack of antihistamines for my poorly hand. So I should be well on the way to a full recovery. Just don't tell the UCI or they'll all want one!

Sunday 24th 53F, 12C, a bright but windy start. Heavy showers forecast again. The back of my hand is still blown up like a balloon and itchy. I walked my longest route backwards today. Just for a change of scenery. Disturbed a deer, a Blackcap and several birds of prey.

My ride was punctuated by three downpours. Very hilly and windy. It was dry with a crosswind coming home. 26 miles. I was starving and tiring on the last leg.

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